I’ve always wondered is there really such a thing as a broken heart, I mean you read about it and even see it in movies, but is it really REAL? Over the past four weeks I’ve found this answer to be YES, it IS real.
I have not been to a Dr in years, don’t question me as to why because that is not what this is all about right now. Right now, for the first time in forever, this is about ME, about me being selfish in away, because if you really know me you know deep down inside as far as I’m concerned it’s NEVER about ME, it’s ALWAYS about EVERYONE ELSE.
Things happened, which brought me to May 5th, the day I walked into a Drs office for the first time in many years. If you plan on judging me about that you can stop reading right now, because as I said, this is NOT about that! I was lucky enough to get a very caring and compassionate person, I was amazed at how she handled me and my fears and trepidations. Her words prevented me from turning around and walking out the door. I hear her comments in my head as I have taken each frightful step since then. The testings, the poking, the proddings, the battle signs up and down my arms have brought me where I am today.
It seems, that I, actually have a broken heart. I’ve had no tel tale signs, my doctors keep asking me the questions, my answers are always NO, did not have that. Nope, not that either. ALL the testing I have had came back with no other issues, my blood work only three minor blips which are very controllable. My cat scans came back good with not other signs of health issues. My blood pressure is up, they tell me most probably for the past five years, again with no true tell signs. I was asked by my cardiac surgeon if I have had any trauma recently in my life, anything that would cause havoc with my emotions or my mental state. My loving and caring husband said “Where should she begin” while I sat there as my tears started to flow. I briefly told the Dr of my life journey I’ve been on the past five years and reiterated regarding the lack of medical history on my paternal side. He looked at me, very caring and said, I’m so sorry you are dealing with this there IS such a thing as a broken heart.
On Friday June 13th I will be having surgery on my broken heart, getting my Ascending Aorta Aneurysm repaired. I ask for your positive thoughts that they are able to do the less invasive surgery, your prayers to guide their hands, and your love and understanding to me and my family as we navigate these next few months.